pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
she peed on how many people?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
