I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I need moral support for this bender
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
