I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
