YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
