Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
