I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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