K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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