how can u be prego again
Soap is not a condiment
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
