should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
