Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
