I'm gonna have a badass scar
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
