i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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