Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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