Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I need water and some morals
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
