Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
