u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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