If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
