Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
