Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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