Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
