oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
