every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
