20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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