i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
