Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
