I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
