I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
birth control should be required to get into college
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
