why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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