the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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