At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
