Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
no you cant smoke seaweed
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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