Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
