It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
