U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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