Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
