I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Your penis caused this!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
