when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
