I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
