You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
