So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
