how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
