I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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