One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
3pm strippers are depressing
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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