i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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