You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
