Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
