If i come over, it means nothing
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
