I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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