i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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