My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
