He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
