Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
