why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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