idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
