I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
